Castiel Swirl
by LoneWolfie
Summary: Castiel recalls the wonderful sight of Dean's soul and can't help but make an appearance while Dean is home alone. Set after season 5. Destiel. Oneshot.


So, this is my first Destiel fic I've ever written. I've roleplayed Destiel and enjoyed it thoroughly and this suddenly came to me. I worked really hard on the color-part and I used some website that described what the different emotions mean by the colors and so, yeah. I'm not sure about my timeline but this is set after the ending of S5. Am I the only one who cries at Swan Song every freaking time? That episode will forever break my heart.

Anyway, here it is! I really enjoyed doing this and had fun writing it. If I owned the show, I probably would have had this happen. Enjoy!

...

Dean Winchester's soul was the most interesting soul Castiel has ever set his eyes upon. Castiel has seen many souls before, all sorts of colors, mixes of red and brown and yellow, but Dean's, Dean had so many colors in his soul that were always shifting and Castiel was always in a trance when staring in to it. It was one of the reasons he drew so close to Dean, to gaze at the colors, his soul, and to admire the beauty that it is. The first color Castiel saw was red.

A dark red was bleeding over the other colors when he first met Dean, pulsing and swirling through the others, sucking them away. He knew what all the colors of the soul meant, he had to, being an angel and only seeing souls. Dark red was a color he knew as rage, anger, courage, leadership and even longing. It was hard to determine which of these the Winchester was feeling but Castiel, as he got to know Dean more, began to be able to determine which exact emotion he was protraying on his soul by listeing to his voice and words. That day he first met him, he had felt anger but also courage, to stand up to an supposed angel of the Lord. That was the first look Castiel got into Dean's soul and he was curious as to what his Father was seeing in this one man, what his Father was seeing in this one soul.

As he kept showing up around Dean, he began to see it. His soul would swirl with so many colors, more colors than Castiel could recall ever seeing. It was like a rainbow, an amzingly beautiful rainbow with extra colors inside somebody's body. The dark red began to go away as Castiel kept appearing, bleeding away into other colors, beginning to show its true beauty to curious blue eyes. The next color Castiel noticed was dark orange; this one was easy to know what it was. Distrust. He didn't trust Castiel and Castiel wasn't surprise. Though, Castiel got to watch, with each visit, that dark orange and dark red begin to bleed away. Pink was beginning to show itself, pushing the dark orange completely away with a smudge of dark red complimenting its surface. Pink meant friendship, love.

Castiel wasn't sure how to explain the swell in his chest once he saw Dean begin to trust him by the colors on his soul. There were always other colors skirting Dean's soul, blanacing on the edges, but the brightest colors kept catching Castiel's eyes. The pink kept growing, the more Castiel came around and helped them, and the dark red slowly bleed away from the pink, only coming back when Castiel wasn't directly honest with Dean. The next color that stood out when Castiel was in the room shocked him; a light purple began to coat the pink, swirling them together and making a beautiful spin of colors together. Light purple was known for romantic feelings. That light purple would flare and shine brightest when Dean caught Castiel's eyes. It always managed to take the angel's breath away.

The next color came shortly after the light purple; red-orange. This one Castiel had seen in every human. It meant desire, sexual passion towards a person, even domination. The red-orange would swirl with the pink and light purple and all those colors would beam when Dean spoke to Castiel, they would shine brightly and make Castiel's body feel warm, as if they were emiting heat and warming his very being to the core. The next striking color was light red, showing the affect the angel had on the hunter; it meant passion, sensitivity and love. Slowly, other colors began to seep in alongside those four colors that Castiel noticed only came up when he was around and in view of Dean. Light yellow slipped into the swirl, representing joy when the angel came around. Light blue joined the colorful swirl, a color angels knew to mean understanding and softness. Natural colors coated them while Castiel came along, like dark red when Castiel kept something to himself, or dark blue that meant seriousness, or even dark purple that was considered sadness. Castiel didn't like that color the most when he was the cause of it.

But that swirl of color, the ones Castiel associated with himself, always remained. No matter what other color might coat them, that swirl of pink, light purple, red-orange, light yellow, light red and light blue stayed. These colors never disappeared, instead dancing together in a perfect circle, shining brightly and flaring whenever the angel got close to Dean. He saw these colors with others. Pink, sometimes dark-orange, and light blue would flare brightly when Sam was around. Pink and light blue would shine when Bobby was around. It was easy to see who Dean truly cared about but never, did so many colors mix when others were around. Only he made so many emotions flutter inside Dean, only he made so many colors swirl and flare and shine and dance in Dean's soul. He enjoyed it quite a bit.

At one point, he had seen two colors coat the constant swirl of the Castiel-swirl - as he began to call them - that made him ache for causing it. Dark green and dark purple; two neagtive emotions, one meaning jealousy, the other meaning sadness. It was after he had kissed Meg, remembering the pizza man doing it and thinking it was the correct thing to do. But after seeing those two colors over take the Castiel-swirl, he decided it was wrong and he wouldn't do it again. The colors went away eventually but they lasted there, over that beautiful swirl of colors Castiel caused, much longer than the angel liked.

After watching Dean's soul for so long, after studying the many colors, he realized this was why he was so special to his Father, this was why he was so amazing. His soul was a beautiful piece of work, it would pulse with so many colors, more colors than he had ever seen, and the colors he liked the most were the positive ones he caused. He knew Dean's soul well, he could recall every single color that has touched its surface and throbbed at the edges. He has seen the pain the elder Winchester felt about himself, the pain he felt for Sammy, the pain he felt for Bobby, anyone he cared about, even those he didn't know. Dean was the most beautiful person Castiel has ever laid eyes on and he knew, in the rest of his years of living, he would never find a soul quite like Dean's.

Castiel wasn't sure what being in-love exactly felt like. Though, he knew the colors. Mainly light red and pink. Sometimes dark red because longing was involved. Dean was in-love with him. At first, he didn't want to believe it. Acknowledging the fact the hunter was in-love with him hurt. Castiel was an angel, he wasn't even human, he was simply inside a vessel, but that didn't stop Dean from falling for him. And honestly, it didn't stop Castiel from falling for Dean. It was the reason he began to Fall. Loving Dean was something the angel wasn't suppose to do but as he watched Dean's amazing soul light up in color, light up in a wonderful rainbow that had him breathless, he was falling in more ways than one.

He fell in-love with Dean Winchester's soul. But after he lost some of his "angel mojo" and finally looked upon Dean's face, he realized he truly loved the Winchester. The green of his eyes reminded him of the way the sun would shine through a leaf, turning it a yellow-green. Part of him hadn't wanted to gain his angel mojo back, just so he could keep staring into those eyes. But he missed seeing his soul, knowing what Dean truly felt for him, and the guys upstairs didn't like what he was feeling for the Winchester anyhow. When he returned, he was so harsh to Dean. He saw the pain he caused to those beautiful colors but he didn't take it back, he didn't stop. For once, Castiel was scared to love Dean and he felt like such a coward for it now.

He wanted to make up for it. He didn't deserve forgiveness, not in his opinion, not for making those colors flatter and dim and fade in the face of dark purple and dark orange. He refused to cause those colors to make his Castiel-swirl shrink again. One night, he went to Dean's new home, just to see how he was doing. It was a few nights after Sam fell into the cage, dragging Michael with him, and Dean was with his new family; after he dragged Sam from the cage and Sam made the choice to not go back to Dean. He hadn't spoken to him since then, instead leaving him be to be with his family, but nobody could read Dean like Castiel. Castiel saw his soul. He wasn't happy. Not as happy as he could be. And the colors that surfaced when Lisa and Ben were around were nothing compared to the Castiel-swirl. Castiel wanted Dean to be happy but he wasn't as happy as he could be. Castiel left him be, to figure out his life on his own, but he kept returning the following months, to check in and make sure his soul still had some bright, positive colors. He missed seeing the Castiel-swirl though. He couldn't stop himself from visiting often, from leaving the choas of Heaven and checking in on the man he never stopped loving.

Dean was home alone one night, Lisa and Ben having a mother-son night by going out for dinner and catching a late movie. Castiel appeared behind the couch, Dean dozing off while watching some trash TV show that Castiel noticed over the months amused him. When Castiel appeared, though, Dean's whole body tensed up and he made a move to turn around. Castiel made himself disappear as Dean looked behind him, his eyes darting around the room. Castiel felt a heavy swell in his chest when that Castiel-swirl coated Dean's soul. Dean took a deep breath, a dark purple coating the swirl as his face fell. Castiel couldn't stop himself if he wanted too. He made himelf visible, his hands lightly fisting at his sides.

He wanted Dean to be happy, to have this normal life, but he also wanted to see that Castiel-swirl with no negative emotions. Dean jerked, nearly falling off the couch, and stared at Castiel, not believing his eyes. But that Castiel-swirl burned brightly, taking over his soul and spinning and dancing and Castiel felt like he couldn't breath. "Castiel," Dean uttered and he was jumping over the back of the couch, strong arms wrapping around the angel's body as he was hugged tightly. A face was buried into his shoulder and Dean was trembling, fingers digging into the back of his trenchcoat and keeping their bodies pressed close. Castiel slowly rose his arms and rested them around Dean's waist, closing his eyes and breathing the human in. Dean never touched him like this; it made him feel warm and tingly and his hands shake. It was frightening, the intense emotions Dean was causing, but he didn't want them to stop.

Dean pulled back, stepping away from his arms. Castiel wanted to hold him and not let go but he forced his arms to drop. Dean stared at him, red-orange growing in size; desire. Dean wanted him and damnit if Castiel didn't want Dean the same way. He was sure if Dean could see the colors of souls, Castiel would have his very own Dean-swirl. Dean swallowed, licked his lips, a motion Castiel barely saw through the haze of his soul; if he concentrated hard enough, he could see a human's face, but Dean's soul was too beautiful. He couldn't stop staring at the colors but through the haze, he saw glassy green eyes that made his chest ache. "What are you doing here?" Castiel knew he didn't imagine the tightness in Dean's voice, the way it cracked a little.

Castiel had nothing but honesty for Dean at this point. "I wanted to see you," he said, his own voice a little thicker, deeper than usual. He tried to not show too much emotion but he knew he couldn't hide the longing and joy he had at seeing Dean. He wanted to wrap him up and take him away, keep him for himself and not let the world touch him. But that was selfish and Dean had a family now. Castiel really wished he wasn't intruding but he had to see Dean, hear his voice and feel his touch. The colors flared, all of them, and grew in size, filling his soul to the brim. Dean didn't say anything at first, just staring at Castiel, and through the haze of colors, he thought he saw a tear slip down his cheek.

"Oh." Dean finally got out and cleared his throat, trying to clear the tightness. "So... after six months of not coming to see me, not even talking to me, you come to see me?" dark-red flared suddenly as Dean's tone took an angry turn. Castiel knew there was longing there as well, as he was feeling. "Six months of nothing from you, Cas. Nothing. I thought you were... well, I knew you weren't dead but still! What did I know? I was worried sick and I needed-" he cut himself off and let out a long breath, reaching up and rubbing at his face.

He was crying. Castiel felt his chest ache even more and he stepped closer. Dean caught the step and took one back, shaking his head. "No, just," he rose his hand up and took a deep breath. "Personal space, Cas, we've talked about this." he grumbled, looking down at the floor. Castiel saw the dark-red and dark purple there, coating his Castiel-swirl and he didn't like it. He took another step, Dean's lower back pressing into the back of the couch. He had him cornered, pressed against the couch as their chests were barely touching. He could feel the heat of Dean's breath fan across his parted lips and his heart fluttered, his fingers twitched to grab Dean and hold him to his body.

"Guess you forgot," Dean grumbled, turning his face away, taking the sweet smell of his breath with; he smelt like mint toothpaste, along with something Castiel knew as popcorn. He wanted to taste him. "Anyway, you wanted to see me. You saw me. Why don't you leave for another six months?" the dark purple flared and began to bleed into the light yellow, his joy, and Castiel couldn't have that disappearing. He wanted Dean to be happy, he wanted to keep all the colors on his Castiel-swirl there and bright.

"Dean." he mumbled, reaching up and placing his fingertips against his jawline, feeling the bit of stubble growing there. Dean's breath caught in his throat and Castiel concentrated on his eyes, watched as the hazel-green lifted to meet his own darkened blue. Dean's face began to come into view as he concentrated, the slope of his nose, his thin, pink lips and the tongue that came out to lick at them. Castiel licked his own lips as he watched the motion and he swore Dean trembled against him. "I see through your words. I see your true emotions, painted on your soul," his fingertips slipped down, resting over his pulse point, feeling it thundering, a quick thud-thud that matched Castiel's own. "I am not leaving until I know you are happy. Truly happy." he stared into Dean's eyes, judging the emotions there.

He could clearly see the hope in Dean's eyes. He reached up, his fingers wrapping around Castiel's wrist, making sure to be under his clothes. The feel of his fingers on his skin, even there, was amazing and made Castiel feel hot. Though, Dean began to remove his hand, bringing it back to his side. "I am happy, Cas, really," he lied. He lied to Castiel and that hurt the angel more than he would admit too. Dean kept his fingers around his wrist as they stared at each other, Castiel seeing his emotions in his eyes. He was so lying.

"Dean. As I've said, I see through your words." the angel repeated patiently. Dean wasn't truly happy. He was happy, yes. He loved Lisa and Ben like family but he wasn't truly happy. That light yellow wasn't as bright as it could be. That pink wasn't as vibrant as it could be. They were at their brightest when Castiel was present.

Dean reacted with anger, which Castiel expected. He had seen it in his eyes, now that he was concentrating on seeing that part of him. "Damnit Cas! What do you want from me!?" he snapped, shoving the angel back. Castiel took a few steps back, to give Dean room. Dean didn't move from his spot, instead slumping against the couch and frowning at the floor. "I'm happy. Okay? I am!" he lifted his hazel green eyes and Castiel saw it; the defeat. Dean knew he couldn't lie to him. He knew it. "But I'm not as happy as I could be," he said softly, breaking eye contact. His hands gripped the back of the couch, showing how hard it was for Dean to be this open with someone. "I... I want..." he clenched his jaw and his eyes hardened. "I can't have what I want." he said sternly, lifting his eyes, as if daring Castiel to ask what he wanted.

Castiel knew but still asked anyway. "What is it that you want, Dean?" he loved saying that name. Dean, Dean, Dean. Never, has a word sounded sweeter or felt so good saying. Castiel could speak every language ever made in history but none of those words meant as much as the name Dean. He couldn't stop saying it with almost every sentence if he wanted too.

Dean shoved himself forward and pushed Castiel back, taking the angel off guard. His back slammed into the wall, a picture of Lisa and Ben shakng near his head from the force. Dean pinned his arm across Castiel's chest, holding him there as he scowled in his face. "I want Sam back! I want my fucking brother to be out of that cage! I want to go back to driving my baby! But I can't, it's too empty! I want Sam but most of all, I want you!" he yelled it out, his arm shoving Castiel hard back into the wall.

But Castiel didn't feel pain. Instead, he felt like he was flying. Flying with the knowledge Dean truly wanted him and only him. That Dean could ever only truly love him and only him. That Dean couldn't be with anyone else unless it was him. "That's what I wanted to hear," Castiel said and saw shock filter through Dean's eyes. But he didn't wait to see if Dean wanted to say anything else. He seized forward, giving Dean a searing, hard kiss, that showed all the emotions he felt for this one human. Dean returned in kind, his hands gripping the front of his trench coat and pulling him close, his body pinning Castiel to the wall. They parted eventually, Dean needing to get a gulp of air. Castiel looked upon him, the way he was slightly panting and how his cheeks were flushed and his eyes bright with love and want and need. He reached up, stroking along Dean's cheek. Dean hesitanted but slowly, he leaned into the touch, his eyelids drifting shut. Castiel saw it; the Castiel-swirl spinning, dancing, shining, flaring in full effect now. But the thing that stood out to him the most was Dean's soft loving smile and the way his eyes sparkled when he opened them again.

Castiel fell in-love with the colors of Dean Winchester's soul. But he didn't realize it until he fell in-love with his eyes and smile too.


End file.
